Embarking on a journey

Like a small boat on the ocean

Sending big waves into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

But I can make an explosion

From: Fight Song by Rachel Platten

Small boat on the ocean

This is how I feel when embarking on this journey, like a small boat on the ocean of space and time. Water and space all around but on my left there I can hear something solid now. The waterside so it sounds and a forest behind it. Echoes of numerous trees come my way. It feels so familiar here and yet I really don’t know where I am. It is said that I will meet nine women here, nine women who will tell me their stories, the stories of our family history and by writing them down and sending them out into the world I will give these women a voice, and their places in history they deserve. There is a soft rumbling in the sky. It sounds like its everywhere around me like thunder in the mountains. My boat easily find its way to the waterside and I step on the land. There, tall and strong, stands an oak like a sentinel guarding the woods. My old friend Oak, always there on important moments of my life. It seems I’ve arrived at another crossroad.

Old Oak

Before I get the chance to greet him the rumbling sound that has become a rolling thunder now suddenly is very near and with a sharp bang Oak is struck by lightning and is split open. I am shocked and amazed for I am not struck by that lightning bolt. How come? Then I hear a clear voice, saying: “Oak has created a passage for you. Step through it and come and sit with me.”

“Who is speaking”, I ask.

“Its me, Elen, Elen of the Ways.”

“Elen of the Ways? The Reindeer Goddess?”

“Are you amazed?”

“Well, I didn’t expect to find you here”, I say.

“why not”, she asks. “aren’t you about to embark on a journey writing about your ancestors?”

“Yes I am and so I did not expect you to be here.”

“Your ancestors were reindeer people, isn’t it?”

“That’s what I’ve recently learned, yes. But still, I have never connected my ancestors with you.”

“With a Goddess, you mean?”

I smile.

“Well, let’s sit down for a while and I will tell you the story of your earliest ancestors from a long long time ago.”

Elen leads me to a certain place in the woods where we set ourselves on the soft moss. What a quiet place this is. I totally relax.

Elen of the Ways

Then Elen starts to speak.

“It is in a time long long ago when the earth is frozen and covered with snow all over that in the far north it is too cold to live. Reindeer decide to move down to warmer areas and people follow. Reindeer know where to go. They follow the lines in the land, not a straight line, but lines meandering like rivers do. When there is a big storm reindeer will turn their faces towards it and will walk into it instead of walk away from it. When walking against the wind they can smell what comes their way. This reindeer wisdom, do you recognize it in your ancestors and family, to face the storms of life and have the courage and faith to move forward.”

I nod, yes I do recognize this.

“Reindeer will lead people to places where they can find food and so your earliest ancestors arrive in the north of your country, The Netherlands. Although it is cold there too and the land is bare they can live their nomadic lives pretty well, gathering nuts, seeds and fruit, having reindeer meat to eat, their hide for clothing and tents, bones and tendons for tools.

They also make their tools from stone.

Slowly and gradually the wheel is turning. The climate changes and becomes warmer again. No need to wander around that much anymore for a diversity of vegetation and animals start to enrich the land. The variety of the land, hay, pastures, forests and the many water ways create perfect conditions to develop agriculture and so the first farmers will settle down in the period of time we call neolithic era.

Farmers, just like nomads, are very connected with nature for they are very dependant of her.

They will be sure to befriend me and others to help and support them in their way of life. They bring offerings to us to please us and ask our favor, offerings like shoe last axes. I know that these are found in the waters for Nehalennia told me that she was very happy with it.”

“Nehalennia? Her temple is in the southwest of the Netherlands, in the Zeeland province, isn’t it?”

“Yes, thats true but Nehalennia, just like me, has come down from the very north. She is my twin sister. Like I am following the lines of the land, like reindeer do, she is following the ways of water, meandering through landscapes. First her boat brought her to the north of your country. Later she traveled on to the southwest where she is watching over the North Sea and water ways. Her temple is built at the waterside.

Landscape of Netherlands Showing River Ways

Your earliest northern ancestors didn’t build temples of stone. For them forests and woods were sacred. Groves and trees would form their temples. They always performed their simple honoring rituals in nature. For them everything in nature was sacred and alive, trees, water, stones, everything. Natural places were connected with their Gods and Goddesses such as the Wodan’s Oak, the Well of Holda and Orion’s Belt being Frigg’s distaff. She collected the thread of time on a celestial axis. At her home she kept a jewel-studded spinning wheel. The rotation of sparkling gems is reminiscent of the turning stars, and the stars of Orion’s Belt have something to do with spinning thread.”

– I remember how this spinning wheel with sparkling gems had given me clarity about how the turning starry sky may look like. –

“They honored and celebrated the cycle of seasons, the cycle of the moon and sun, life-giving forces they needed so badly for the soil to be fertile, for the crops to grow. Mother Nature, just making the difference between life and death.

Moon and Sun also were connected with recordkeeping and genealogy for they, from the very beginning, have witnessed the entire flow of human history.

Ancestor reverence was seen as very important and genealogy as a sacred task.

– I smile –

They did not have a writing system like people have today. They orally passed on their knowledge and wisdom and by using runes. Runes meaning whispered secrets. These simple looking figures being much more than letters like most people think they are, holding all the knowledge and wisdom I just mentioned, and more.”

Ingwaz Rune on Riverstone

Elen pauses for a while and I think of my beautifully carved maple wooden runes at home. Then she continues:

“And the wheel is turning and
we are turning with it. Through the ages, the warming up of the climate, the waters continue to rise. The sea north of the Netherlands comes closer and closer covering the land with clay and the rivers and water ways become broader and wider covering the land with water. Slowly and gradually water and vegetation turn into peat, large areas of peat. On a certain moment the area we are talking about, Westerwolde, the cradle of your family, is surrounded by water, has become an island and it isn’t possible anymore for people there to live. The land has become inaccessible and so people move away.

This situation will last for about a thousand years. Then people start to cultivate these large peat areas and in about 800 ACE the first colonists from Germany come to live there bringing with them the new religion from Rome, the catholic church.

Now we enter a time of conflicts about who will be the boss in this area Westerwolde. For a long time this will be the bishop of the Corvey monastery in Hoexter and the bishop of Osnabrueck, both Germany.

and we’re approaching the time your first known registered ancestors appear on stage.

It is from here that other foremothers will guide you further on your journey.”

And so I journey back in time and my Grandmothers journey forth so we can meet and weave our linen of life.

Het kado van mijn moeder

Een vlucht ganzen bij zonsondergang

“Moon and sun were connected with record-keeping and genealogy for they, from the very beginning, have witnessed the entire flow of human history. Ancestor reverence was seen as very important and genealogy as a sacred task” From: The Thread of Time

Honderdvijf jaar geleden is mijn moeder geboren, wat een verrijking voor de wereld was dat. Nee, ik ga haar niet beschrijven. Naast alles wat ik over haar zou vertellen zou nog zoveel onbenoemd blijven. Daarmee zou ik haar ernstig te kort doen.

Het was in de negentigerjaren van de vorige eeuw dat mijn moeder ons, mijn zus en mij en ook mijn vader en haar zelf een papieren document gaf waarop onze stamboom stond geschreven, de Hekman stamboom wel te verstaan, dus de familie en voorouders van mijn vader. Tevens kregen wij het bijbehorend familiewapen. Mijn moeder vond het belangrijk dat we wisten wie onze voorouders waren, met wie wij een familie vormen.

Van haar eigen familie was destijds maar weinig bekend. Een neef was wel met een stamboom bezig maar daar hebben we nooit veel over gehoord. Het was pas begin 2020 dat ik het werk van deze neef ter inzage toegestuurd kreeg en tot mijn teleurstelling heb moeten vaststellen dat hij nog niet zo ver gekomen was.

Misschien is het kado van mijn moeder uit de negentigerjaren, samen met een spannend familieverhaal, voor mij wel de aanzet geweest om zelf op zoek te gaan.

Sinds de zomer van 2016 houd ik me intensief bezig met familieonderzoek, met onze stamboom en familiegeschiedenis. Vooral dit jaar houd ik me in het bijzonder bezig met de stamboom van mijn moeder. Wat had ik dit graag met haar willen delen.

Het was niet makkelijk informatie te vinden, zeker niet uit het nabije verleden. Maar dit jaar kwam er toch veel boven water.

Het begint al meteen op 1 januari 2020. Ineens vind ik heel veel informatie over de familie van mijn overgrootmoeder, de moeder van mijn opa, mijn moeders vader. Ook van mijn overgrootvader komt veel te voorschijn als ik maar terug ga in de tijd en niet probeer te ontdekken wat er met mijn oudooms en oudtantes is gebeurd.

Mijn moeders familie heeft overduidelijk haar wortels in Oostfriesland. Nu liggen Oostfriesland en de provincie Groningen vlak bij elkaar en heel vroeger liep er geen grens tussen wat wij nu Duitsland en Nederland noemen. Het karakter van de Oostfriezen herken ik wel, in mijn moeder maar ook in mijzelf en in mijn zus.

Mijn moeder had een sterke wil en een vrije geest, onafhankelijkheidszin. Onrechtvaardigheid was iets dat ze niet kon verdragen. Eigenschappen trouwens die ik ook in mijn vaders familie terug vind, doorzettingsvermogen en een ondernemersgeest, bij mannen en vrouwen.

Het moet niet makkelijk voor mijn moeder zijn geweest, in haar tijd, die drang naar onafhankelijkheid. Vaak had ze het over haar oom, oom Koenie, die naar Amerika was gegaan. Hij was de wildernis ingetrokken en nooit meer teruggekeerd.

Als ze daarover vertelde kon ik het verlangen in haar stem horen om ook zelf de wereld in te trekken. In plaats daarvan was ze gebonden aan een leven als echtgenote, meewerkend in de zaak, kinderen opvoeden, het huishouden doen, wat ze trouwens allemaal met alle liefde heeft gedaan.

Toen ze 65 werd, destijds de leeftijd waarop je met pensioen ging, is ze gestopt met werken in de zaak. Ze had veel hobby’s, een brede belangstellingssfeer en daar ging ze haar tijd aan wijden. Haar tuin was haar lust en haar leven en in de latere jaren, na de dood van mijn vader, heeft ze nog reisjes ondernomen binnen Europa en is ze dus toch nog een beetje de wereld ingetrokken.

Vandaag, 11 oktober 2020, is het 105 jaar geleden dat mijn moeder geboren werd.

Bij onze voorouders in Noord- en Noordwest Europa was het de gewoonte dat meisjes tijdens de ceremonie waarin ze in de kring van vrouwen werden opgenomen hun afstammingslijnen te horen kregen, te beginnen met die van hun moeder want die was het belangrijkste. Dat kon mijn moeder mij niet geven. Ze kende haar familielijn zelf immers niet. Maar ze gaf me wel de familielijn van mijn vader en plantte daarmee het zaadje voor het werk dat ik nu doe.

In 2009 heb ik mijn DNA laten testen op mijn moederlijn en in september 2020 heb ik in de stamboom het spoor van mijn voormoeders gevolgd. Tien jaar geleden kon ik slechts twee namen noemen, die van mijn moeder en die van mijn oma. Nu kom ik tot tien.

Het bijzondere dat ik hierbij tevens heb ontdekt is dat de negende voormoeder een verbindingslijn heeft met een Hekmanlijn, een tak van onze Hekmanfamilie die we onze neven kunnen noemen.

Als ik de draad van mijn moederlijn in de stamboom weef word ik geraakt door het besef dat de allereerste vrouw, onze oermoeder, onze hele familie omarmt, moederlijn en vaderlijn.

En in dat welhaast magische moment ontvang ik alsnog mijn uitgestelde ceremonie.

Death Song

Sadness has found its dwelling in me. Mourning the loss of a beloved friend. This time its deeper and much more intense. Hard work for my body to digest it.
Ear wants to speak and show a way to help.
“You are so fortunate to live on your own land. Go and find a place where you can bury your burden, where you can bury your burden into the ground, into the earth. She can help you digesting it for her body is much bigger than yours.”
So I step outside. Fresh wintery air is what I meet. I wrap my blanket around my shoulders and relax in the warmth of its embrace.
I walk towards the place I’ve chosen and start digging with my hands. Digging in the ground, deeper and deeper. Digging in the earth even more deeper. When the grave is ready I lay my offering inside of it and set myself at the edge of it. The voice of my drum is soft and low. I add my voice low and soft, soft and low until it has blended into the sound of silence. I sit still and wait and listen.

Women appear from beyond the grave. The first is my mother. Then my grandmothers and with them more and more women of my lineage. They all gather around the grave, we all gather around the open grave and start singing our songs of death, singing the losses of our lives. Each woman has her own story, her own Song of Death for all the children she has lost, for all the loved ones she had to let go. I know the sorrow and sadness of my mom. Her first born died the sudden death when she was only 20 days old. My mother was not allowed to bring her to her grave, to lay her down in her last resting place. I listen to the songs and grieve with them all. After a while there’s silence again. They are all gone except my mother. She has an important message for me and she doesn’t leave not until she knows that I really got it.
In the peacefulness of that moment I close the grave softly singing a last farewell. Then I turn around and walk back to the house.

Seeing in the Dark

A small group of people enters a park; slowly, carefully, for this is an extraordinary park. Yes, all is there; birds are singing, water streaming, statues, plants and bushes but one thing is missing: light. All is in complete darkness. These people just embarked on a Journey called the Seeing In The Dark Experience and I will journey with them as their guide.
We will explore and experience the wonder of our other, non visual, senses and instead of looking around we will create a 3D soundscape by Listening around. Our feet will Tell us about the different layers on the ground and we will use our hands to See the statues.
Its a walk through a park, on a street, crossing a road with all the different sounds, feelings and scents.
But there is more. This is a group of people that wants to discover more about themselves. So, how about trusting yourself in a complete unknown area? Trusting the Dark, the others and your guide?
How about communication.

Darkness is a perfect setting to invite people to come closer to themselves and start speaking from a place of honesty. In the dark it is easier to open up to one’s feelings and because of being in the same situation this Journey can create an atmosphere of intimacy, of connectedness.
What I’m trying to describe is how a walk in the dark can make a good working caring Team from people who know each other only one day. And this Bond makes this Journey very special.

This night there is one person I’m very quickly in contact with in an easy and familiar way. And when we are in the dark bar and sit together at a table with our drinks our conversation easily and naturally becomes one of familiarity. We dive deep and doing so Threads are Spun and Woven into a Fabric of Deep Understanding and Connectedness.

We talk about human things like being uncertain and having doubts about ourselves. I tell you that I feel a nice person within you, that you have a kind personality. You ask me how I know without seeing you with my eyes (if its dark or light) and my response to that is that Seeing someone, Seeing someone’s personality has nothing to do with looking at someone with your physical eyes but that it is about Energy, about Vibration. For me it is the combination of Voice and what radiates out of someone. No fake through body language or whatever mask you wish to put on your face.
What is happening between us is hard to describe but, heart-to-heart connected as we are in this very moment, a Cocoon of Intimacy is Spun around us and when you ask me if you may hug me (something I’ve never done before with visitors and never after) I react after a short hesitation with a Yes because it fits the situation. We stand up, you walk over to me and for a short moment we hold each other there in the Dark Speaking Words without sound.
Then the Moment is gone and with that the Magic.

Three years later you’re back and I, again, am your guide in the dark.
I have to tell you a story, you say. Again in the bar sitting at a table you share your story with me.
“That evening three years ago when I came out of the dark back into the light and saw you (you hadn’t seen me before) what my eyes saw, told me, did not match with what I’ve felt in the dark. And I realised that my eyes have cheated me all my life. This has been a life-changing experience for me and i’ve taken decisions based on the Wisdom gained from that.
I left a long-term relationship I was in because for my eyes it still fitted but for my feelings it didn’t.
I have decided to not listen to my eyes anymore, to not let them take the Lead in future choices anymore.”

Sitting in silence in my own space I know that being part of such a transformational experience in someone else’s life means that there is a Message for me in it, too. And I ask: what is the Message for me here?
No doubt, my transformation is having grown from a blind-eyed little girl into a Woman who can See in the dark, who can trust her feelings, her Inner Wisdom. I’ve come Full Circle and feel a strong desire to finally leave the past behind.
Like the World Serpent surrounding the Earth, bringing together two extremes to make it Whole, so I now bring together two extremes in me to become Whole: Being Blind in the Light, Having Sight in the Dark. I Am Both.
I am ready for the next step on my Path, for the Work I’ll choose to do.
With a Big Smile I Mark my Path with this Gem, a Marker to trustfully Journey from into my self chosen future.



Van 17 mei 2017 tot 7 juni 2017 is Ingrid Kincaid, The Rune Woman, in Nederland. Tijdens deze periode zal zij lezingen en workshops geven en is het ook mogelijk privee sessies/readings bij haar te boeken.
De voertaal is Engels maar er wordt, waar nodig, gezorgd voor een vertaling in het Nederlands.

Ingrid Kincaid is binnen de gemeenschap van Portland, Oregon, USA, een Oudste. Ze is schrijver, lerares en verhalenverteller.
Het is haar passie en missie de ondergesneeuwde Wijsheid van het Noorden terug te brengen in de wereld.

Er staan op dit moment 4 Evenementen gepland. Tevens is het mogelijk privee sessies/readings bij haar te boeken.

Grote Hout- of Koningsweg 39, 1951GN Velsen-Noord, Nederland

Zaterdag 20 mei 2017, 14-16 uur: in deze eerste presentatie zal Ingrid zichzelf introduceren, vertellen hoe zij de Wijsheid van Het Noorden heeft teruggevonden en ze zal ons een voorproefje geven van The Lost Teachings of the North / De Ondergesneeuwde Oude Wijsheid van het Noorden.
Zondag 21 mei 2017, 10-16 uur, de dag workshop Lost Teachings of the North – Living Wisdom of the Norse Spirit Wheel.
Woensdag 24 mei 2017, 19:30-21:30 uur: When Women Remember Their Names.
Vrijdag 26 mei 2017, 19:30-21:30 uur: The Missing Grandmother of the North.

Zie voor de beschrijvingen hieronder.

Privee Sessies/Readings op afspraak.

Losse Lezingen EURo 15. Er wordt voor koffie/thee gezorgd.
Dagworkshop: EURO 60. (zelf lunch meenemen)
Dit is inclusief koffie/thee.

Bij deelname aan de Introductie op 20 mei + de Dagworkshop van 21 mei bedragen de totaal kosten niet EURo 75 maar, EURO 60.
Bij deelname aan alle 4 Evenementen bedragen de totaal kosten niet EURo 105 maar, EURo 75.
Laat de kosten geen probleem zijn, maar neem contact met ons op voor een voor jou haalbare oplossing.
Privee Sessies/Readings in overleg met Ingrid.

Voor informatie en/of opgeven, mail naar: tinahvisser@gmail.com of stuur een berichtje via Facebook/Messenger naar Tinah Bee.

Voor vragen/info vooraf aan Ingrid Kincaid, mail naar: ingrid@ingridkincaid.com

Of ga naar: http://www.ingridkincaid.com/details-of-nl-events.html

Mis deze unieke kans niet om Ingrid Kincaid, The Rune Woman, te ontmoeten, zij die zegt:
“Ik ben een Eigen-Wijze vrouw. Ik help mensen op ontdekkingstocht te gaan, hoe angstig dat soms ook kan zijn, door het stellen van vragen.
Ik nodig je uit je leven te leven vanuit het stellen van vragen en niet vanuit het idee dat er maar 1 juist antwoord bestaat.
Als je de moed hebt met mij samen te werken, spiritueel, persoonlijk, creatief of professioneel dan verzeker ik je dat je leven nooit meer hetzelfde zal zijn”

Ingrid en ik verheugen ons erop je op 1 van de evenementen te ontmoeten.
Je zult geen spijt hebben van dit nieuwe avontuur.


1. Introduction Lost Teachings of the North, Saturday May 20th, 2pm-4pm, 15

Join Ingrid Kincaid as she provides the beneficial background and sets the scene for her upcoming in-depth workshop about the Norse Spirit Wheel. Ingrid will share how she has come upon her knowledge of the Wisdom of the North and provide the information that will allow you to sink into a deeper understanding and vibration for her later workshop on the Norse Spirit Wheel.

Ingrid Kincaid is an internationally known author, educator and spiritual elder. She carries in her bloodline an intriguing mixture of a Norse woman’s love of travel and adventure and the song of the bagpipes from the Scottish Highlands. Ingrid speaks passionately about the rich spiritual heritage of Old Europe, the earth wisdom that informed the life of our indigenous ancestors before Christianity and before the Romans and she reminds those of European descent of the need to know their own forgotten indigenous heritage.

In her teaching, writing and storytelling she invites people to bring their spirituality back down to earth, reconnect with their roots and heal inherited ancestral grief.

Ingrid will be visiting The Netherlands between the dates of May 18 through June 6, 2017. She will be giving presentations and leading workshops as well as offering private spiritual guidance sessions.

Facebook event listing here.

2. The Lost Teachings of the North, Sunday May 21st, 10am – 4pm (break for lunch), 60
Living Wisdom Of The Norse Spirit Wheel

This day-long workshop taught by Ingrid Kincaid is an interactive mixture of earth wisdom, rune lore, storytelling and guided meditation. Weaving together the ancient and the modern, she creates an experience where you can explore and reconnect with native wisdom and spirituality that is part of the forgotten indigenous, heritage of Old Europe.

There was a time in the past when the people of the earth lived in harmony with nature and the cycles and seasons of life.
They oriented themselves by stepping into the center of the Great Wheel, rooting themselves in the earth and looking to the horizon for the future and the past.
How can an understanding of the teachings of the Spirit Wheel benefit your life today?
Learn to use the Wisdom of the Wheel
reconnect with indigenous wisdom
find direction
regain balance
solve problems
resolve conflicts
reclaim a sense of joy and purpose
remember ancestral heritage

We will take a stand in the Center of the Spirit Wheel
We will listen to the speaking of the Winds that blow in the Four Directions
We will meet the creatures that dwell in the Wheel
We will call upon the Runes that hold the teachings

Facebook event listing here.

3. When Women Remember Their Names, Wednesday May 24th, 7:30pm-9:30pm, 15

What’s possible when you remember who you are?
What would you talk about if you weren’t afraid?
….afraid of being judged
….afraid of being criticized
….afraid of being embarrassed, made to feel stupid or even shamed
Who would you be?

Do you long to connect spiritually with the wisdom of the sacred feminine?
Are you hungry for a more passionate, meaningful life?
What secrets, desires or dreams have you hidden away?

For thousands of years our stories have been told by men, in their words, using their language, written in the margins of their books, if written about at all.  Our sacred wisdom has been denied and devalued in religious systems worldwide, systems that are patriarchal, misogynistic and female dishonoring.
It’s time we women reclaim our names and remember who we are.
When we remember who we are, we speak our Dark Moon Wisdom
through the Mystery of Our Creativity
through the Mystery of Our Sexuality
through the Mystery of Our Spirituality

Facebook event listing here.

4. The Missing Grandmother Of the North, Friday May 26th, 7:30-9:30pm, 15

We Europeans have wandered spiritually for many years.
We have sat at the Sacred Fires of many peoples, of many colors and many languages.
We have copied their practices and rituals.
We have adopted their symbols and art.
We have embraced their spiritual beliefs.
It’s time we returned home.
It time we remember our own sacred history.
It’s time we sit, once again. by the Sacred Fire, with our own grandmother, the Native Indigenous European Wise Woman.
She is not a woman of color.
She is not from the land of other.
She is our Grandmother.
We carry her memory in our bodies.
She sings to us through our bloodlines.
She is waiting to welcome us home.
She hasn’t really been missing.
We are the ones who have forgotten.

Join us for this rare opportunity to hear Ingrid Kincaid, speak about the Missing Grandmother of the North, a topic that is both challenging and provocative.
Ingrid is an internationally known author, educator and wisdom keeper. She carries in her bloodline the intriguing mixture of a Norse woman’s love of travel and adventure and the song of the Scottish Highlands bagpipes. Ingrid speaks passionately about the rich spiritual heritage of Old Europe, the earth wisdom that informed the life of our indigenous ancestors before Christianity and before the Romans and she reminds those of European descent of the need to know their own indigenous heritage.
In her teaching, writing and storytelling she invites people to bring their spirituality back down to earth, reconnect with their roots and heal inherited ancestral grief.

Ingrid is visiting The Netherlands giving presentations and leading workshops as well as offering private spiritual guidance sessions.
The Missing Grandmother is just one of 26 topics included in her yearlong course called Hidden & Forbidden: Women’s Dark Moon Wisdom.

Facebook event listing here.


Sitting at the Well of Origin, that Pool of Wisdom, I ask: Where to find the Missing Grandmother.
Why is She missing in the world.
Why is She missing in my world.
I wrap myself around this question and listen and wait…..
What I hear is the sound of tinkling Ice, a Song so clear and still.
What I hear is the sound of tinkling Ice turning into the sound of melting Water. And the sound of melting Water is slowly changing into a soft Whispering, a Whispering that seems to come from all directions.
I wrap myself around the Whispers and wait….

Whispers of Water

I’m standing on a Path, the Woods behind me, Woods I just left after wandering around for years and years. Grandfather Oak stands in front of me and smiles at me.
“Welcome back”, he says.
“Come and sit with me and tell me about your adventures in the Woods”.
I sit down at his Foot leaning my back against his Trunk and a sigh is finding its way out before it allows words to come out.
“I have been wandering around for years and years, sitting at many Campfires of many Peoples. Meeting Grandmothers from different Cultures, from different Colors and different places. I heard a lot, I learned a lot. Stories, Songs and Dances. Ancient Wisdom seen through their Lenses. I learned a lot.
But while leaving the Woods all at the sudden I realized that I have missed one specific Fire, that I have missed one specific Grandmother, a Grandmother of the North, a white one. I didn’t found Her Sacred Fires. Did I miss it or don’t we have a Native Indigenous European Grandmother?”
Silence. “Grandfather, where is the Grandmother of the North, of my indigenous Heritage.”
“I cannot tell you where She is. You must find Her yourself. Rest a bit here and then continue your Journey. This Path will lead you into another Spiral of the Labyrinth of your Life. Only You can Walk that Spiral. Only You can Walk the Labyrinth of Your Life.”

tracks-in-the-snowAnd so after resting for a certain time I step back on the Path again, like a Cross-Country Skier stepping back in the Tracks again, to follow this Long and Winding Road, up and down and flat again, down and up and flat again, meandering like a river leaving debris on one side, showing erosion on the other side.
After a certain time I hear tinkling Ice again and the sound of melting Water. The Path widens and like a clearing in a forest there in front of me is an open space which sounds like a Cave, a large Cave.
Now I hear the sound of a burning Fire and a voice saying: “Welcome back. Welcome back. Come and sit with me by the Fire. Rest a bit and then tell me about your adventures in the Woods.”

And again I tell my story about my wandering around in the woods, sitting at many Sacred Fires, learning a lot and about missing one specific Fire, missing one specific Grandmother, She who dwells in the North.
How come that this Grandmother is missing in the world. How come that She is missing in my world.

“This Grandmother has never been missing in the world nor in yours. She has always been there. But many people are not looking into Her direction and so don’t see Her. She is not easy to find. She is not loud but silent. She is not spectacular but simple. She is hidden beyond Cultural Walls built from patriarchal Stones so one has to break down these Walls and has to dig really deep through snow and ice to get to Her. One has to reach beyond the war-like male dominant stories, songs, myths and legends to find Her, the Native European Grandmother, the white one. She belongs to the Circle of Indigenous Grandmothers but is mostly overlooked, forgotten, living so far away up in the very North. And who does like Cold and Darkness and is willing to set out on a Journey to find Her?”

“The Grandmother of the North has always been there.
Her Wisdom is Singing in your Blood, carved into your Bones, Woven into your Heart and Soul. She has been calling you and you finally heard Her and have followed Her Voice.
You can rest here as long as you wish and then I’ll send you back, back into the world. But before you go we will Sit by the Fire and I will Share the Secrets of the North with you. And I will offer you a Drink, the Mead of Memory, so that you will remember everything you’ve learned here when being back in the world. So it will be, so it will happen.”

I find myself back at the Well of Origin.
Do I still hear the sound of the burning Fire or is it the melting Water?
No, this sound is different.
What I hear is a Spinning Wheel.
Someone out there is Spinning the Threads and softly Singing a Song.
I listen and I hear a clear voice saying: “Good Morning, Granddaughter, welcome back” and a Spindle is laid in my hands.


Gelukkig Vrij Nieuw Jaar

Het is nacht. Igor ligt vlakbij me, ergens op de grond. Hij weet het nog niet maar binnenkort krijgt hij zijn welverdiende pensioen.
Het aftellen is begonnen.
Het bedanken is begonnen. Bij iedere stap die ik buiten met je zet bedank ik je voor alle stappen die we samen hebben gezet.
Wat een avonturen hebben wij samen beleefd.
En wat ben ik blij dat je je vrije jaren bij ons mag vieren.

Igor, wil je je opvolger leren me ook zo lief met zijn snuit aan te tikken als ik hem los laat lopen?
Ik kan jou overal mee naartoe nemen en gewoon los laten lopen. Is dat bijzonder of gewoon?
Ik hoop dat hij me net zo gaat laten lachen om zijn koppige poedel zijn als jij doet want dat is precies wat ik zo leuk vind.

Jij bent zo precies in je werk, voorzichtig, misschien zelfs weleens te voorzichtig als dat tenminste mogelijk is. Zal hij dat ook zijn? Of wordt het een banjer?

Jij zult de Wijze Oude Man zijn en hoofdschuddend naar de jonkies kijken, glimlachend, grijnzend en als we met z’n allen uit gaan, trippel jij kwispelstaartend mee.

My For ever Number One.
Voordat ik onze nieuwe vriend introduceer wil ik eerst aandacht voor jou, voor de vele jaren van trouwe dienst.
Maar ook speelkameraad en lieve vriend in huis.
Je houdt me altijd in de gaten. Als ik denk dat je slaapt en ik maak de geringste beweging hoor ik je bewegen, klaar om in actie te komen.
Wat bewonder ik je.
Dankbaar ben ik voor de mensen die honden opleiden zoals jij.

Lieve Igor, een Gelukkig Vrij Nieuw Jaar!


Threads are pulled up, a Web has been Woven and will shine and brightly hang in the World Tree.
With these words, I finished a Journey that I’m back Home from only recently.

It all starts with a Dream at Full Moon Night, a Lucid Dream. It is like being awake, but I’m Dreaming.snake-woman-with-full-moon
There is a Woman besides me, on my left, on the left side of my bed.
She is Pythia and She tells me that Snake Energy will come into me now and it won’t hurt. Then I hear her say that the Serpent is inside me.
The Snake, like a living Serpent Cord used by people to work with Ancestors, immediately goes at work.
While showering the morning after this Dream the Message I hear is: how wonderful it would have been if in those days we would have had Facebook and I would have been in contact with my parents that way. Mom would have loved it.
I decide to create a Memorial Page for my parents which I do that very same day. From that moment all of the sudden, I find myself on a Journey, on a Journey that Drives me, Forces me, to dive deeply into my Ancestry.
Every now and then a soft protest leaves my lips: what about Holy Waters/Sacred Wells, the Topic I should work on for my Women’s Dark Moon Wisdom Course, until I get it that the River of Blood is also Holy Water and a Sacred Well.
It looks like that I have to work this Topic out this way.

And so I cross the Big Pond and start my Journey where once my Ancestors started their Journey, venturing from the Netherlands to the United States, Michigan.
From the moment I get up till the moment I go to bed, I am wandering around on the WorldWideWeb to Repair the Threads, to find and bring back a lost Branch of our Family Tree, back to its Home in the World Tree.
I thought I would like to find a living Family Member, but when time passes it becomes clear that that is not important, that it even might cause a Split.
It is my Journey along the River of Life back to the Source, the Well of Origin, to Repair and Heal.
If I would meet someone in person that would be okay, but I no longer try and create such a moment of connecting.
This is about Essence.

I find Names and Dates of Birth and Death, I find bits and pieces of a Family Story over a time span from end 1800s up until now.
I’ve heard the story being told by my parents many times, but now I find much more and when I’m finally holding this Branch in my hands, I can only Smile and be proud of my Family, of those who are my Ancestors now and of those still being alive.grand-river-at-grand-rapids








It tells me about what Blood is streaming through my veins. It tells me about huge Male Energy providing the strength to go forward and go for your Dreams/Goals, but it also tells me about a huge Female Energy, the Women behind these Men, and there is one Woman to whom I feel especially drawn.
She has received my Family Name by marriage and when I read her obituary I wished I’d met her.
She, a Woman born 100 years ago who was a Teacher in Chemistry, who was teaching at other schools when they moved to another place, that she was playing the piano, was clever with words and poetry and very good in Storytelling and Family History.
Claire was her Name and when I find a picture of her on the Web, I can feel a soft Energy coming from her, a pure Divine Feminine Energy I recognize from my mother, an Energy that was surrounding her body after she had left it, an Energy of Love, of Compassion, which I also recognize as the energy of Kwan Yin.

And what I experience is Eihwaz, the Rune of Balance, the Rune that holds the Wisdom of so above so below, so within so without. In other words, She, Claire, was the Woman behind that very successful Man, but she also was the Woman standing besides him, not hidden but visible in a very clear way.
It is her incredible Feminine Energy that has carried and nourished the Manifestations of her Husband, and her own, and has nourished her in supporting him the active way she has done.
Claire has been seen and has received the Credits she deserves otherwise I never could have found her Story which made me understand my Story.tree-with-webs

While approaching Dark Moon feeling the Energy going down I finally sit silently and quietly at the Well of Origin. A deep wound within myself is healed by pulling up these Threads and Weaving them back into our Family Tree – into the World Tree – for ever more.

P.S. When I finally Meet a Living Family Member my Blood, Heart and Soul are telling me loud and clear that this Journey was NOT about Essence only…or was it? If so, then it Dwells right in the Heart of the Smithy where Family Bonds are Woven. 🙂


“You may not remember
But someone
in some future time,
Fragment of a Sappho Poem – 7th C.BCE.

northern lights ice fields

ISA = I Wait
And the Mystery within is contained and revealed

It was at Winter Solstice 2014 that Isa came my way. In the turmoil of changes She came to me with the Message to Sit and Be Still.
Be still and Listen, Listen and Feel. No plans, no solutions, just sit and be still.
It was at night before falling asleep that She invited me to come and stand on the Ice with Her experiencing spaciousness, feeling clarity and noticing under the Ice some soft rippling of the Waters, deep down below.
She helped me to slow down, to wait and watch things appear instead of pushing them into form. She helped me to wait for things to be ripened and ready to harvest or to let die. She helped me to stand strong in all this waiting and to always find my way back to the Center, the Center of my life, the Center of Life.isa rune

But Isa is more than Ice only.
The Ice Rune Isa is shaped as a vertical line, as a Stav or Staff.

Staff Carrying Woman
It was in 2012 that I met Isa for the first time during a workshop dedicated to IxChel, Mayan Goddess of the Moon and Waters, Childbirth and Death, Weaving and Rainbows.
IxChel leads me back to the Mayan Moondance.


top of Ixchel's TempleIn 1994 the Keeper of the Mayan MoonDance, Isabel Varga, decided the time had come to send the Dance out into the world for the Healing of Mother Earth and all Her Children.
During 4 nights (the 4th being the Full Moon Night) Women are dancing from Sunset till Sunrise within a Sacred Circle while Men are playing the Drum and Singing the Songs outside the Circle. Yin and Yang working together in a very harmonious way.
Women traditionally promised to dance the Moondance at least 4 times in their lives. After the 4th Dance they became a Staff Carrying Woman and were allowed to start their own Moondance Circle.
I’ve danced this Dance 4 times in my life and became a Staff Carrying Woman,  but I did not open up a new Moondance Circle.


After wandering around for many years I finally have found my way back to the Sacred Fire of my indigenous European Ancestors.
As my Foremothers have shown me the way back to the so called Motherlands, Old Europe as Marija Gimbutas named it, the ancestral Lineage of my grandfather (my mothers father) who was German has led me to Northern Europe as well as DNA Matches with the North.
The Runes have had my interest since long but it was not until the past few months that 3 Women have come my way who have each inspired me to step back on Track, to look differently at the, for me, macho Sagas of Norse Mythology and reach beyond Indo-European Culture (beyond Odin’s time).
Both my Maternal and Paternal Lineages have guided me back into Pre-Indo-European (Pre-Patriarchal) times to find the Broken Threads and Heal them.
And all the time from 2012 up until now,  Isa kept coming back and I wondered what Message she might have for me, Isa the Ice Rune, Isa the Stav.

Then I find the Volva / Staff Carrying Woman of Ancient Northern Europe.volva simple drawing with stav
Women who could transform one substance into another by Spinning, Weaving, Churning, Baking etc., but who also used their Stav to travel in the Inner World.
By using the Stav in making Rhythms, Chanting and Voicing Tones and Runes they could find their way in the Inner World and still do so.
And what struck me like a lightning bolt is that as the Volva can find her way in the Inner World with help of her Stav, I have found my way in the outer world during whole my life with help of my Staff being a Cane, the Cane I call Isa now.

So Isa is very important for me being Stillness and being the Stav in the outer world as well as in the Inner World.

Sitting at the Well of Origin repairing the Broken Threads and Weaving them back into the Web of Wyrd I smile realizing Volva and Bees have something in common.
As the Staff Carrying Women are known for their ability of transforming one substance into another so are Bees – Transmuting Nectar into Honey.
And Tinah Bee, Sister of the Runes, Woman of the Always, was born.



These Sister Bees are showing us how to transmute Nectar into Honey.
Each Bee receiving the Nectar is adding Her special Enzyme, Medicine, to then pass it on.
This Process, so called Honey Kisses, goes on until the Nectar is transmuted into Honey and available for every Member of the Hive.

What a Beeautiful way of Transformation.
What a lovely Bee Teaching about the benefits of Sharing.

When being in a transformational period of time, when transmuting Nectar offered through Life into Honey, we also can Share our thoughts and feelings with someone else or with others who might add their special Enzymes, their Medicine, to make it easier to flow from one situation into another.
Let’s allow ourselves to make transitions in a more gentle and peaceful way.

I am grateful for the help I receive(d) to shed old Patterns, allowing me to flow into new ones.
I am grateful for and thoroughly enjoy Honey Kisses.