“The River of Tears is transformed into a River of Love”
We stop at the Riverside and walk towards the water. I hear the Voice of the man saying a Prayer, saying a Prayer to the River
and he asks us to connect ourselves with the water and so I do. I fill my hands with water and gently let it flow over my head, my heart, over me. A Water Blessing to give thanks for the precious time we just spent with Her, A Beloved Woman of the People.
But do I feel it that way. Do I feel connected with the water?
How can I feel Connectedness, a Child being educated in a culture based on duality, on seeing things apart from each other splitting them into Good or Bad, Man or Woman, Light or Dark, the River or I, Here or There.
Here or there, that’s my Song for today.
There is another River, here in the Netherlands, that has been of importance to me in the past and still is so it seems.
I am born in the North of the Netherlands, in a Region called Groningen. When I’m 4 I have to leave home to go to a special school in the Center of the country. In those days connections aren’t that easy yet. No cars, no Internet. I came home with holidays only.
Every time, traveling from the North to the Center of the Country, the train would pass a bridge, a very long bridge which caused so much noise when riding over it, it sounded like Iron going over Iron. This bridge is connecting one side of the River Ijssel with the other side. But for me that bridge didn’t connect anything at all, for me it was loud and clear, a border, a border between the good, Home, and the Bad, School.
Every time we passed that bridge I had that experience of separation, of disconnectedness.
That bridge divided my life in Here and There with a yawning gap in between. That was the reason why leaving always was a very painful experience. Although the Child learned through time that after every leaving home there was a returning back home again, leaving, saying goodbye would continue to be a difficult thing which caused separating here from there and her from the others.
It will take too much time and words to share in detail how I found my way back home, back to myself, but it wasn’t the bridge causing that feeling of disconnectedness. It was
the Child herself who birthed this feeling and only she can change this by Carding the Wool, undoing her Thread from the Old and Weaving in the New.
I meet the Old Woman on the Porch of her house. We have a good time together and she invites me in her Medicine Lodge. I know I finally have found the Teacher, the Guide, I have been waiting for so long. She will Teach me the Language of the Stones. First I have to find a certain Stone near on in the water. This Stone, so they say, will absorb the sadness and grief of my body.
One morning waking up I know all at the sudden where to go and search for this Stone, where to go and find it. At the Ijssel. There I will start my quest, there I will bring my Inner Child and do a Ceremony with her to let her experience that a bridge is a connection and not a separating border, that the water is not separating but connecting one side of a River with the other.
But before I get the chance to do so a vivid memory comes in.
When we have done our Prayers at the River we again step into the car and find a ford to cross the River. I feel very clearly how we go down, from the riverside, through the water, I can hear its sound against the bottom of the car, to go up again on the other side. This strong memory makes me realize that the experience of crossing the River the way we did has made me feel the meaning of the word “Connection”, on the moment itself on unconscious level, now by remembering it enlivening my consciousness.
The Child also got it and she relates the car with the Dolphin, the Dolphin who would bring our Ancestors from Old Europe over the Waters from this World to the Otherworld to find answers to their questions. And with that She reminds me of my Clan Mother Helena’s Culture which was not based on Duality but on Oneness.
We are very happy, the Child and I, and we have the feeling that there’s no need anymore to go the River of our time the Ijssel. But a Stone is waiting there for us, an important Stone, and so we do go.
During my preparations I again and again get an “Image”, a sensory Experience so to speak, of a Stone and of the place where I will find Her. That this “Image” turns out to be a true Gatekeeper Guiding me straight away to the right spot to me is a stunning Teaching of Connectedness.
And so we again are standing at the waterside. This time I hear my own Voice, I hear my own Voice saying out loud a Prayer, a Prayer to give thanks and this time I Bless myself with the water without being asked to do so.
I offer Herbs from both my Homelands to let them together drift away on the Rhythm and the Tides of these Sacred Waters like I let myself drift away on the Rhythm and the Tides of the River of my life meandering through Time and Space leaving me here and sometimes there.
Clouds break open and Sunbeams reaching down are warmly kissing the water and me in their Blessing of this Holy Moment in Time.
All Is Good.