It is after one month of strange feelings Her body is buzzing like many Bees are living inside her. THe whole world around her and within her is vibrating. Doctors say her nervous system is exhausted. She likes to name it being very sensitive.
That day, after friends have visited her, Isa is tired.
She lays down to rest and then all at the sudden it starts. The noise in her head and body, vibrations inside and outside swirling in and over her. She’s taken over by Vibrations. She starts panicking which makes it even worse.
She is overwhelmed by it, feels desperate. It will drive her crazy, that noise, all those vibrations. She doesn’t exist anymore. She is electricity only. There is only this ocean of chaos.
And somehow, somewhere, something essential from her is still there. Now she can describe it like being in the center of a storm, in the stillpoint of it, there is still something left from her – Witnessing.
The Sacred Witness reminds her of what she once heard about the Snake Ceremony, standing at the Fire fully naked after having shed skin, no past, no future, only the very moment and the Unknown.
Then a clear Insight/Inspiration comes to her: this is a Hive without a Queen. And the Voice of the Sacred Witness asks without speaking the words out loud: who is the Queen here. An immediate response from a womans voice: you are the Queen.
These words sort of hardens her a bit back into shape again.
She is the Queen. She has to hold this Hive, her Hive, Herself, together. Misty rags of old patterns pass by, feelings of guilt and feelings of being a victim.
She feels sick, miserable, weak, but she is the Queen, she has to take responsibility as Co-Creator now and bring this chaos back into structure again and she finally stands up and takes her Drum, starting to play the Heartbeat, softly, lightly, because she exists from vibration only and her Drum as soon as she will touch it will vibrate as well. Then she starts playing a Rhythm called Bhramari Devi (Bee Goddess) with both hands. She puts the Drum on her lap because holding it is to heavy for her at this moment and she keeps playing this Rhythm, softly, lightly, using both hands very consciously because she knows using both her hands will make her brain hemispheres work together, will synchronize them and will lead her out of Chaos into Structure again. And so it happens.
And all the time her Guidedog has been laying besides her keeping her warm
and being ready to guide her even in the Inner World.
She feels vulnerable afterwards like a baby just being born but she knows everything is gonna be alright and she is ready for this new phase of her life she just has been born into.
Credits: The featured Drum which she has named Whispers of the Great Mystery is painted by Nikiah Seeds from http://www.redmoonmusings.com
Bhramari Devi is composed and performed by Isabella Verbruggen from